Penis Song

THE NOT NOEL COWARD (PENIS) SONG
Written and sung by Eric Idle
From `Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life’

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Here’s a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean..

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It’s swell to have a stiffy
It’s divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world’s biggest prick!
So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork
Your wife’s best friend
Your Percy or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don’t take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won’t a-come a-back!

Oh, thank you very much…

(What a frightfully witty song.)

From an earlier draft:

From the tiniest little tadger
To the world’s biggest prick
Never mind about the size of it
Just make it hard and quick.